The hardest thing about writing is feeling like the words don’t simply flow from my mind to ink and paper (or computer as it is these days). Some days I feel creative and other days not so much, but I like to believe that I’m filled with words that need to come out, words that are creative and important, words that move people in a way that music does for others.
I have always loved to write. I remember the first creative writing course I took in high school. My teacher encouraged me, inspired me, challenged the way I wrote. She pushed me to go beyond what I thought I could do to create in a way I didn’t realize was possible. She managed to tap into that creative part of my sould. The deepest part that sometimes has a hard time expressing itself.
Over the years writing has become more challenging, and it feels less creative. I have often wondered if my life is not as inspiriting as it once was, or if the way I tapped into that creativity changed when light came into the dark places of my life. I know that in some of my darker moments in life, I have found my writing to be the most creative, but it is also the most dark, and sad. As God brought light into those dark places of my life I felt like my writing became too forced and frilly, it was no longer the raw, unfiltered stuff.
Over time I have come to say that I just don’t have time to write like I use to, but the reality is that I’m afraid to write. Afraid that I’m no longer the creative person I once was. Afraid that my words are dry and that I have nothing to say. Afraid that my writing won’t be as good as it once was. I have found many excuses to keep me from writing, to keep me from creating, and growing in my abilities.
No more excuses. The hardest thing about writing is myself. I need to get out of my own way, step aside, write, and allow my thoughts to flow without editing what comes out. I have been inspired to write again and encouraged as I have found writing challenges that inspire me and give me a diving board to spring from. Now I’m on the platform, stepping forward, and jumping in. Head first, eyes closed, fingers free to type.