“I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then I said, Here am I; send me.” ~ Isaiah 6:8
What does it mean to be called by God? This question resonated with me as I read Oswald Chambers devotion titled The Voice of the Nature of God. I often talk about my calling in life and what I believe God is guiding me to do with the gifts I have been given. Yet sometimes I struggle with the whole idea of calling. Can I be called to more than one thing in life? I believe there are different seasons of life, so can there be different callings in different seasons? As a woman in ministry I have struggled with the fact that I know God called me to motherhood, and I have been called to ministry. The balance between the two can be challenging, but I find great rewards in both.
Chambers writes, “The call is the expression of the nature of the One who calls, and we can only recognize the call if that same nature is in us. The call of God is the expression of God’s nature, not ours. God providentially weaves the threads of His call through our lives, and only we can distinguish them.” I love this quote because it confirms for me that the strong urges I feel in regards to my calling, are not simply an urge that has developed within me, but an urge that has developed because God’s expression is within me. Like a string of yarn crocheted into a blanket, God’s expression is one piece of what makes me whole. And as He continues to weave His nature within me, I get glimpses of my calling, and slowly over time I am able to see a larger piece of the picture.
Sometimes I struggle with wondering what I’m doing with my life, and with my ministry, because it’s not at all what I imagined it to be. Over the course of many events, I am seeing how God has pieced certain things and experiences in my life together, and how all of those things have shaped me and informed my outlook in life and in ministry. The events of my life have shaped how I raise my children, how I view the world, and how I desire to make change in the world. I trust that God has been preparing me and shaping my calling even before I recognized His work within me.
I don’t know what the future holds. But I trust that God holds my future, and that wherever I go and whatever I do, He will continue to shape and guide my calling. I imagine that there are different callings in different seasons of life. Or maybe we only recognize glimpses of our calling in certain seasons. Either way I trust that God weaves our calling together just as He has planned.
At this point in my life, I feel like I am finally ready to say, “Here I am Lord, send me” and wherever he sends me, I will go. Following the Lord is no easy task, but following the Lord is what has gotten me to this point of my life. I trust that He will not leave me, and He will continue to speak to me, even if I am slow to hear His voice.