No one ever said the way to the cross is easy. Jesus tells us to pick up our crosses daily and to follow him. If you think about it, most people probably don’t want to follow someone if they know the path leads to death, but no matter what path we take in life we are all following a path to death. So do we follow Jesus to our death which promises us eternal life with him, or do we follow another path with no promise of life? For me the choice is easy, the path with Jesus is difficult.
I often question if I am where I’m suppose to be. I wonder if I’m using my God given gifts to the fullest potential so that I may bless others, and if I am where I’m suppose be shouldn’t I be happy? I believe we have all be given different gifts to bless people in different ways. I function out of my compassion daily in my ministry with hospice, but it’s wearing on me. I know I’ve been gifted in many other ways, and I don’t feel like I get to operate in those gifts. So I ask the Lord, is this the path I’m suppose to be on? If this is part of my journey when will here be a fork in the road for me to walk another path?
Recently, I listened to my pastor preach on life in the valley. We don’t live on the mountain tops, and even Jesus, Peter, James, and John came off the mountain after the transfiguration to the messiness of life at the base of the mountain. So here I am, in the valley of the shadow of death as I walk with people in the end of life. Don’t get me wrong, I have found beauty in this dark place called hospice, and I fully believe God has equipped me for this part of my journey. But I desire to see the brightness of the Lord’s transfiguration. I desire to be on that mountain top, who doesn’t? Until then, I will walk this path where I have been placed. I trust this is where the Lord has me, but I believe the Lord is molding my path to lead me to new places as he leads me to the cross.